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Warning !!!
The language found on this page may not be for everyone...back out now if you think you may be offended !!!


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LPT Symbol Off-color Foreign Personal/Family Names

Don't utter these at your next Embassy party...for fear they might be too close to reality!

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Remember, guys, when as kids, we used to make up dirty foreign sounding surnames --
and then bend ourselves double, with uproarious laughter?
For instance, does Ivan Bitchacockoff, ring a bell?
We-ll, it turns out, we weren't the only "inventive" kids in the world.
Little Turkish boys were doin' exactly the same thing...

Thanks to OG (April 1999) and to YS and TÇ (July 1997)

Fenasi Kerim
I fuck you bad
From Fena; bad and Sikmek; to fuck
(Pronounced: Feh-nah-see Keh-reem)
This name looks innocent, at first, but as our friend OG explains, "we used to phone our school telephone operator and have her 'page' this name, and as soon as she pronounced it on the loud-speaker system, listeners would begin to blush..."

Korken Kanayan
While/when you put it, it bleeds
From Koymak; to put and Kan; blood
(Pronounced: KOHR-ken KAH-nah-ah-yahn)
OG explains, "Koymak is often shortened to 'komak' (or 'korum' for present tense) in colloquial Turkish -- when someone's in a hurry they drop the 'y'. So, here, 'korken' means while one puts it... (click to understand the -ken suffix). And together, everything sums up to mean 'while one puts it (sik), it (am) bleeds.'"
And OG adds..."I normally don't even curse, but this is what you get along with a high school education in Turkey."
The LPT Editors feel compelled to add further,
"Here's an example of the superior American school system...We get this kind of education in elementary school."
Onakoma Bunako
Don't put it in that, put it in this [hole]
From Ona; in/to that place, buna; in/to this place, and a verbal construction made from koymak; to put -- when combined 'properly' they form the whole 'name'.
 (Pronounced: OHN-nah-koh-mah BUUN-nah-ko-mah).
Also see the off-shoot name, 'Oramakoma Götümekoma' below...

Ivan DIvandelen
Ivan Who-makes-a-hole-in-the-couch
From DIvan; couch and a verbal construction made from delmek; to make a hole in -- are used to form the surname.
(Pronounced: Ih-VAHN Dih-VAHN-day-lin)
AlexandIr SiksallandIr
Alexander Who-swings-a-cock.
From Sik; cock and a verbal construction made from sallanmak; to wave, rock, swing, sway -- are used to form the surname.
(Pronounced: AL-ehks-an-dihr SICK-sah-lahn-dihr)
Hans Brahms Sikimiavuçluyor
Hans Brahms Holding-my-cock.
From Sik; cock, and a verbal construction made from avuçlamak; to grasp -- are used to form the surname.
(Pronounced: Hahns Brahms Sih-KIHM-ee-ahh-VOOCH-lih-or)
Madame Döllemer
Madame Sucks-sperm
A verbal construction made from döllemek; inseminate -- is used to form the surname.
(Pronounced: Mah-dahm Durr-lehm-AIR)
Oramakoma Götümekoma
Don't-put-it-over-there Don't-put-it-in-my-ass.
From Ora; to that place, Göt; ass, and a verbal construction made from koymak; to put-- are used to form the whole name.
(Pronounced: OR-rah-mah-koh-mah GHERT-ihm-eh-ko-mah)
Tutsiki Yançek Hold-the-cock Pull-it-sideways.
From Sik; cock, yan; side, and verbal constructions made from tutmak; to hold and cekmek; to pull -- are used to form the whole name.
(Pronounced: TOOT-sick-ee YAHN-check)
Tutsiki Koyama Hold-the-cock Put-it-in-the-pussy.
From Sik; cock, am; pussy, and verbal constructions made from tutmak; to hold and cekmek; to pull -- are used to form the whole name.
(Pronounced: TOOT-sick-ee KOY-ahm-ah)

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