The Politically Incorrect Turkish Funnies
A sampling of mildly naughty funnies, cartoons, and comics --
from some of the racier paper publications of Turkey...
We were browsing the magazine and newspaper rack at the Cengiz Market in Ortamahalle (again) the other day and reminded ourselves that it was time to prepare a webpage bearing samples of some of the 'livelier' Turkish humor -- from the pages of the bolder Turkish press. So we grabbed the latest issues of this, that, and the other publication, rushed home, and began this page of Turkish giggles -- that we thought some of you might find 'educational'. So behold our latest creation (of mostly shameless copyings) -- which we'll try to supplement, from time to time...
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| Juvenile #1 to Juvenile #2: You jerk...
Are these the topless girls you were talking about? |
| The Lout's pal: Good God...I've never seen such an ugly woman in my life... The Lout: That's my wife, buddy... The Lout's pal: I'm so sorry. I didn't know. Please forgive me... The Lout: You don't need to be sorry. That mistake belongs to me... |
| Refika, the female elephant: Not in front of the children, Refat!..
Refat, the male elephant: (After disengaging and squashing the watching human children...) How's that? Female elephant: s' fine.. |
| The Lout's neighbor: Look sir, I'm your neighbor. And you have a right to make love to your wife every night, but... how about closing the curtain when you go to bed... My family gets tired of watching you night after night. The Lout: What are you saying, sir?. I'm an inspector -- and I haven't been home for a week... |
| (Remembering nostalgically) 'Home Girl' says: I lost my virginity as the result of an accident... |
| The Lout's niece: Say, mom... Is there any drawback in walking with a young man in the park after dark? Her mother: There's no problem as long as you keep walking. I used to go walking in the park when I was young too... But one day I stopped...And you're the result! |
| Home Girl: Thanks for driving me home Alaattin ... Come on upstairs and I'll show you where I had my operation... Alaattin: Oy!... OK... Home Girl: Look, you can see it from here. When I had the pains, they took me to the Insurance Hospital over there. That's where I had the operation... Alaattin: [does the 'slow burn'....] |
| The Loutish Doctor: Do you have sexual relations during the day?
The Lout's patient: Of course I do. The Loutish Doctor: With respect to these daily activities, do you talk to your husband while making love? The Lout's patient: No...I can talk to him if I want to, but... at that time I'd have to reach over to the phone and call him at the office... |
| The Newspaper Reader's wife: Look hubby dear, I met a spaceman who says he's friendly. We're off to the bedroom... The Newspaper Reader: Whatever... But if you don't mind, I'd like to read my newspaper!.. |
| The Lout: Tell me frankly, darling... How many men have you known before me? ... ... You've been quiet for minutes, honey. Why don't you answer me? The Lout's lover: Wait, sugar, I'm getting mixed up... I'm trying to count, ya' know... |
| The Smooth Talker (after 'anointing' the wall and giving himself a 'strategic scratch'): Lookee, Nurten...I'm writin' it down right here... You're gonna miss me soooo much -- that you'll be back in two days... The Smooth Talker's long suffering wife: Ayeee...You are disgusting, FadIl... |
| Old woman patient (on phone): Can you tell me the surest way to commit suicide, Doctor?
The Loutish Doctor: Shoot a bullet about four fingers beneath your left breast, madame. Newspaper boy (the next day): Extra extra, read all about it... Old woman commits suicide by shooting herself in her left knee cap. Extra extra. |
| Pretty woman patient: Dear doctor, I'm very embarrassed when I get undressed.
The Loutish Doctor: If you're embarrassed, let's turn out the lights. Pretty patient: Where shall I put my under garments, Mr. Doctor? The Lout: If it's not too much trouble, you can put them right on top of mine. |
| The Lout: Dear mister pharmacist, I'd like a [packet of] Viagra...
The Pharmacist: Without a doctor's prescription, it's definitely not possible. The Lout: If I'd show you my wife's picture instead of a prescription, you'd give me the Viagra without question... [you'd acknowledge my right...]
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Thanks to the Turkish Publications
for all the source material used on this page.
(See individual entries for specific credits...)
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